I love SOI*. It's my thing... it's my passion. I think every self-employed salesperson oughta include a little SOI
in their arsenal. Or a lot. During my real estate days, my business was nearly 100% SOI with a few random floor calls, walk-ins and web leads tossed in as gravy.
But if you're gonna SOI, you better do it right! Not everyone does. In fact, most don't. Not because they're stupid or incompetent or insensitive, not at all! Rather, because most salespeople have never been shown the right way to do it. When done right, an SOI business model actually changes the way the salesperson views his business ... and his world.
Most experienced real estate salespeople claim to embrace an SOI philosophy. They support the idea of generating business and referrals from the people they know. But the reality is that the vast majority of real estate agents fail miserably in their SOI efforts. Even worse, they manage to alienate many of their friends and family members along the way!
And then they proclaim that "SOI is a lousy way to run a business!"
Well, they're wrong. And, they're right. They're wrong that an SOI strategy is a poor business model, but they're right that it was a lousy business model for them. Because they didn't understand how to do it right.
If you're gonna SOI, you better do it right. If you're gonna do it wrong, don't do it at all. The personal relationships in your life are far too important to risk!
21 Ways to Blow it with Your SOI
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Ask a friend to lunch and give her your sales pitch (every time)
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Call your friends on the first Monday of every month and ask if they have any referrals for you.
- If they don't, ask them why not.
- Angrily (or tearfully) confront your friends and family if they use another real estate agent
- Take on business you aren't qualified to handle
- Send your friends weekly emailed newsletters of your listings
- Blow off your friend's housewarming party, but expect her to be loyal to you
- Attend your friend's housewarming party and sales-pitch everyone to death
- Tell everyone you know how lousy the real estate market is
- Tell everyone you know how overwhelmed you are
- Tell everyone you know how depressed you are about your real estate business
- Send out an announcement letter with typo's and misspellings
- Send your friends frequent "forward this on for good luck or else" mass emails
- Pepper your language with four-letter words
- Borrow money or books or tools or whatever and don't return them in a timely manner
- Don't return social phone calls or RSVP's
- Try to hijack referral fees from your family's pre-existing real estate relationships
- Ignore your SOI in favor of mass-advertising projects (then get your feelings hurt when they use someone else)
- Contact your friends only when you're looking for business
- Offer bribes to your friends for referrals
- Sell real estate "on the side"
*An "SOI" (sphere of influence) business strategy means to generate business and referrals from the people who know you.
To Read About "Doing SOI Right", check out these blogs:
The Jake Series
Are You Tired of Pestering Strangers for Business?
What's the Best Way to Ask for Referrals? Don't.
SOI and the Single Gal



At first I was thinking - what in the heck is SOI? My BIC(Broker In Charge) is always harping on keeping in touch with your sphere of influence. This is even more fuel to the fire.
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for the tips with SOI. I was wondering what the best ways to utilize it in business were.
Running a successful SOI business model requires a paradigm shift in your mind... once you grasp the concept, it seems so obvious. But before, it just seems salesy. But if you're already worried about pestering your friends, you're on the right track! Because that's the last thing you want to do - and don't let anyone convince you that it's okay to annoy the ones you love!
Excellent points! I try very hard to not go into a sales pitch with my SOI... it's tough sometimes because I see so many opportunities for them to get involved while the market is slow so they will experience growth when things pick up.
What I have found though, is if I do not talk shop the topic usually comes up and they want to hear what I have going on and if I have any suggestions for them.
Best Wishes,
Scott CowanRainier Real Estate
www.scottcowan.com
Scott - I think if you're speaking directly to a person and truly concerned about sharing opportunities, your approach will be welcomed! I'm against sending out a general list of your listings to your SOI, but if I listed or knew of a great investment, I'd send it out and got a great response from it. It's all in the attitude - if you really really DO want to help someone, that shows.
But yeah, people will usually ask about your job and if there's any interest, the conversation will take on a life of it's own.
Jennifer, do you have a SOI yearly Planner?
Suzi - excellent question. No... but yes.
I never used one in the past - SOI came very naturally to me, although if I'd had a written plan, I probably would have doubled or even tripled my business.
Therefore, now that I'm going back into real estate sales after the 1st of the year. I SHALL make a detailed, written plan. I have the shell done - now I just need to fill in the specific names & activities. I'll use Top Producer to keep me on track.
Hi Jennifer!
OK, my question is, exactly how SHOULD you react when friends list with another agent?
My husband has ONE of their homes listed, and has had a lot of activity on it. Then out of the blue our friends listed their OTHER house with someone else! Keep in mind when answering, that these are VERY close friends of ours and they seem to be avoiding us now. We are very hurt and did nothing to cause this whatsoever. We never saw it coming, and my husband found out about it from another agent. My husband is a broker, in the business for 11 years with his father, they own 2 successful Re/Max offices, so my husband knows the business. He has been a top producer consistently for years. In the past, when this SAME thing happened to his father, he never spoke to his friends again!!!!!!!
Thanks for any advice!
Wow - I don't have anything brilliant to say. I have lots of ideas as to why someone would do that, but who knows?
What to do? Be polite, professional, assume the very very best. Maybe this other agent was desperate and they felt bad for him or her. People do know more than one real estate agent and maybe this other person was devastated when they selected your husband.
Don't ruin a friendship or business relationship over it. That would be very unprofessional! Just act "as if" it doesn't matter to you at all and that you're sure they have a perfectly reasonable explanation - and, they probably do (at least in their minds).
OK. If they believed that they had "a perfectly reasonable explanation" then why are they avoiding us? And why would VERY good friends, (and fellow church members) do that, with NO explanation at all, and in fact, not even tell us about it THEMSELVES?
As for the "desperate realtor" theory, it doesn't wash. She is new, completely unknown to them, and got into the business AFTER my husband listed their other home.
I realize that you can't solve this for us, I just thought that you may have a concrete answer for us, or a personal experience to share. It is such a sticky situation. Unfortunately, it DOES matter a great deal to us. In 11 years, this is the first time it has happened to us...thankfully!!! My father-in-law has, as I said before, had it happen to him a few times in his 17 year career. He doesn't take kindly to "friends" doing that, and feels that in the long run he is far better off with his "loyal" friends and customers. In spite of losing a few "friends(???)", he has managed to retain his integrity and high degree of professionalism. (It hasn't hurt him financially, either! ) Maybe we aren't all as kind and forgiving about such things as you would be in our situation. Just to clarify, my husband HAS had other customers do this to him, and that really is just par for the course. These are our FRIENDS, and that is what makes it pretty bad in our eyes.
With that said, I think the business end of things can remain intact, but the friendship...well,that was their choice.
Thanks for your advice, Jennifer!!!
You are right. It's the "in your face" tactics that fail to work out well every time.
just came across this and although it is old I wanted to reply to Angela-
send a card to them wishing them the best. Don't ask why, don't solicate, just wish them the best. They will usually appreciate the good form and soften up. Likely they are avoiding you because they don't want to explain their decision and honestly- it is their decision- but if they know you are ok with it, it could diffuse the situation.
just my 2 cents
Thanks for your comment Shari - your advice is perfect. I get this question so often, and the agents are almost always furious with my answer that they should handle it politely and professionally. But you know what? More than one has written me back later to tell me that they did as I suggested and ended up with the friend as a client in the end because the agent they initially selected blew it.
It's just bad business to burn bridges.
I'm a serious Rookie but loving it! it's been a month, but I just wrote my first offer!
It was exhilerating! It was just what I needed to jump-start my career. Now I can't get enough. My issue is that I have a husband with two jobs, 3 boys (one with Down's Syndrome) and an absolute passion for my career that is all consuming!! I need to find a balance! My other obsession is Bikram yoga which is wonderful for relaxation and focus...not to mention the killer work-out that comes along with it.
So you keep a list of your SOI's but you don't send out letters etc...which I'm totally on-board with! I guess I need to be directed as to where to go to read about what TO do. Just be relational, know your stuff and the clients will come to you? I have my sticker on my car but I never bother or pester friends or people that I meet. I figure everyone will know what I do and its up to me to learn every detail of the the Real Estate business. When the clients come I want to be overly ready! Does that make sense?
Hi Bethany... well, there's a bit more to it than just being nice and waiting for people to show up... feel free to contact me directly and I'll point you toward some other resources. But YES - I'm completely in agreement with you that when clients come, you want to be overly ready... your future adoring fan club deserves that... ;-]