A Fresh Approach to Real Estate Rookie-hood with Jennifer Allan: SOI Gone Bad -- 21 Ways to Blow it with Your Sphere of Influence

A blog for and about the newest members of our industry - written to give you hope, inspiraton and lots of ideas to get you to that critical first paycheck! Go get 'em!

SOI Gone Bad -- 21 Ways to Blow it with Your Sphere of Influence

I love SOI*. It's my thing... it's my passion. I think every self-employed salesperson oughta include a little SOI soiin their arsenal. Or a lot. During my real estate days, my business was nearly 100% SOI with a few random floor calls, walk-ins and web leads tossed in as gravy.

But if you're gonna SOI, you better do it right! Not everyone does. In fact, most don't. Not because they're stupid or incompetent or insensitive, not at all! Rather, because most salespeople have never been shown the right way to do it. When done right, an SOI business model actually changes the way the salesperson views his business ... and his world.

Most experienced real estate salespeople claim to embrace an SOI philosophy. They support the idea of generating business and referrals from the people they know. But the reality is that the vast majority of real estate agents fail miserably in their SOI efforts. Even worse, they manage to alienate many of their friends and family members along the way!

And then they proclaim that "SOI is a lousy way to run a business!"

Well, they're wrong. And, they're right. They're wrong that an SOI strategy is a poor business model, but they're right that it was a lousy business model for them. Because they didn't understand how to do it right.

If you're gonna SOI, you better do it right. If you're gonna do it wrong, don't do it at all. The personal relationships in your life are far too important to risk!

21 Ways to Blow it with Your SOI

  1. Ask a friend to lunch and give her your sales pitch (every time)
  2. Call your friends on the first Monday of every month and ask if they have any referrals for you.
  3. If they don't, ask them why not.
  4. Angrily (or tearfully) confront your friends and family if they use another real estate agent
  5. Take on business you aren't qualified to handle
  6. Send your friends weekly emailed newsletters of your listings
  7. Blow off your friend's housewarming party, but expect her to be loyal to you
  8. Attend your friend's housewarming party and sales-pitch everyone to death
  9. Tell everyone you know how lousy the real estate market is
  10. Tell everyone you know how overwhelmed you are
  11. Tell everyone you know how depressed you are about your real estate business
  12. Send out an announcement letter with typo's and misspellings
  13. Send your friends frequent "forward this on for good luck or else" mass emails
  14. Pepper your language with four-letter words
  15. Borrow money or books or tools or whatever and don't return them in a timely manner
  16. Don't return social phone calls or RSVP's
  17. Try to hijack referral fees from your family's pre-existing real estate relationships
  18. Ignore your SOI in favor of mass-advertising projects (then get your feelings hurt when they use someone else)
  19. Contact your friends only when you're looking for business
  20. Offer bribes to your friends for referrals
  21. Sell real estate "on the side"

*An "SOI" (sphere of influence) business strategy means to generate business and referrals from the people who know you.

To Read About "Doing SOI Right", check out these blogs:
The Jake Series
Are You Tired of Pestering Strangers for Business?
What's the Best Way to Ask for Referrals? Don't.
SOI and the Single Gal

www.sellwithsoul.com

 

 

The Exceptional Agent 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Nicely written, Jennifer (as usual:) I just hope everyone reads this sentence "21 Ways to Blow it with Your SOI" before they think this is a "to do list":)
Posted by Rhode Island Realtor ~ Karen Hurst ~ www.stonehurstrealty.com (STONEHURST REALTY) over 4 years ago

At first I was thinking - what in the heck is SOI? My BIC(Broker In Charge) is always harping on keeping in touch with your sphere of influence.  This is even more fuel to the fire.

 

 

 

Posted by Tracy Santrock-Cary NC Realtor (Fonville Morisey/Santrock Realty Group, Inc. ) over 4 years ago

Hi Jennifer,

 

Thanks for the tips with SOI.  I was wondering what the best ways to utilize it in business were.   

Posted by Matthew Zgonc, Realtor, CFS, CVS (Aksland Real Estate) over 4 years ago
I was wondering the same thing Matthew.  It's obvious that it's much easier to blow it than to make it work successfully.  I don't know if it's just part of being an Introvert, but I tend to shy away from asking SOI because I don't want them to think I'm trying to use them. 
Posted by Donna Yates, Associate Broker North Georgia Blue Ridge Mountains (Coldwell Banker High Country Realty) over 4 years ago
No one really wants to be SOLD to..... I remembered my Mary Kay friend, before she starts heading over, the rest of us girls run away so quickly like a plague. I never want to appear like that. I am a professional and I feel that when I have done my homework in informing them, that's all I can do. Still some SOI will choose not to do business with you. That's okay too.
Posted by Loreena Yeo, RealtorĀ®| Frisco TX Community Ambassador (214)783-2210 (3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Frisco TX Real Estate Co.) over 4 years ago

Running a successful SOI business model requires a paradigm shift in your mind... once you grasp the concept, it seems so obvious. But before, it just seems salesy. But if you're already worried about pestering your friends, you're on the right track! Because that's the last thing you want to do - and don't let anyone convince you that it's okay to annoy the ones you love!

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) over 4 years ago
Thanks for the sound advice.  Good things to remember as we try to build our businesses.
Posted by Lori Eging (Long & Foster) over 4 years ago
As usual, thank you for the very helpful information.
Posted by Adele Irving - Easton Area Homes (Prudential Patt, White Real Estate) over 4 years ago
Jennifer:  What a great list, and how very useful it will be in my next training session with my team.  I went over the list slowly, and I honestly do not think I have fallen into using any of them.  Whew.  It can totally destroy a relationship when the person you are contacting ends up feeling used.  Not a good plan.  Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Fort Worth Real Estate - - - Karen Anne Stone (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) over 4 years ago
Dang it Jennifer, you just took away the first 21 things in my marketing plan. I guess I better retool it. This is great. I hate to admit it, but I have been guilty of a couple of those in the past. Ooops! But I did say the past. Thanks for all your SOI information. It really is helping refocus my thoughts about it.
Posted by Birmingham Alabama Real Estate, Stephen Wolfe (LivingInBirmingham.com) over 4 years ago
Stephen - you crack me up! I forgive you for blowing past me in Alabama AR points.
Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) over 4 years ago
Wonderful post. 
Posted by Allen Wright CNS, AHS, REPS (RealtyU) over 4 years ago
Another great post!  It's amazing how your actions, or lack of, can ruin your reputation as a Realtor to everyone you know.  I'm glad I haven't been guilty of any of these, yet :).
Posted by Maui Real Estate - Lisa B. Miller R(S) (Keller Williams Realty Maui) over 4 years ago
Ouch - forget their house-warming party!  An agent friend of mine has started throwing her buyers a house-warming party.  It is her closing gift.  She spends a couple of hundred dollars - and gets to be face to face with all her "Happy" clients friends.  Hmm....
Posted by James Downing - REALTORĀ®,GRI, ABR - DC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage) over 4 years ago

Excellent points! I try very hard to not go into a sales pitch with my SOI... it's tough sometimes because I see so many opportunities for them to get involved while the market is slow  so they will experience growth when things pick up. 

What I have found though, is if I do not talk shop the topic usually comes up and they want to hear what I have going on and if I have any suggestions for them.

Best Wishes,

Scott Cowan
Rainier Real Estate
www.scottcowan.com
Posted by Scott Cowan (RE/MAX Four Seasons) over 4 years ago

Scott - I think if you're speaking directly to a person and truly concerned about sharing opportunities, your approach will be welcomed! I'm against sending out a general list of your listings to your SOI, but if I listed or knew of a great investment, I'd send it out and got a great response from it. It's all in the attitude - if you really really DO want to help someone, that shows.

But yeah, people will usually ask about your job and if there's any interest, the conversation will take on a life of it's own.

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) over 4 years ago
Too funy!  I do avoid the "sales pitch" but when there is an opportunity, obviously bring up something having to do with real estate as most people like to talk about the market, just don't want to be constantly sold.
Posted by David & Lisa Webber, www.webberteam.com (RE/MAX Executive) about 4 years ago
David & Lisa - Thanks so much for your comments- I checked out your profile and you definitely GET IT. Let's stay in touch.
Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) about 4 years ago

Jennifer, do you have a SOI yearly Planner?

Posted by M. Suzi Gravenstuk, Independent Broker (Sharing the life and spice of the MGC one day at a time) about 4 years ago

Suzi - excellent question. No... but yes.

I never used one in the past - SOI came very naturally to me, although if I'd had a written plan, I probably would have doubled or even tripled my business.

Therefore, now that I'm going back into real estate sales after the 1st of the year.  I SHALL make a detailed, written plan. I have the shell done - now I just need to fill in the specific names & activities. I'll use Top Producer to keep me on track.

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) about 4 years ago
I had a friend tell me the other day that someone had invited the swim moms to her house for brunch.  At the end she did a pitch for business that really seemed to rub the wrong way.  Ouch.
Posted by Josette Skilling (Century 21 Redwood Realty) about 4 years ago
Oh, that is SO wrong!!!!!!!!
Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) about 4 years ago

Hi Jennifer! 

OK, my question is, exactly how SHOULD you react when friends list with another agent? 

My husband has ONE of their homes listed, and has had a lot of activity on it.  Then out of the blue our friends listed their OTHER house with someone else!  Keep in mind when answering, that these are VERY close friends of ours and they seem to be avoiding us now.  We are very hurt and did nothing to cause this whatsoever.  We never saw it coming, and my husband found out about it from another agent.  My husband is a broker, in the business for 11 years with his father, they own 2 successful Re/Max offices, so my husband knows the business.  He has been a top producer consistently for years.  In the past, when this SAME thing happened to his father, he never spoke to his friends again!!!!!!!  

 Thanks for any advice! 

Posted by Angela about 4 years ago

Wow - I don't have anything brilliant to say. I have lots of ideas as to why someone would do that, but who knows?

What to do? Be polite, professional, assume the very very best. Maybe this other agent was desperate and they felt bad for him or her. People do know more than one real estate agent and maybe this other person was devastated when they selected your husband.

Don't ruin a friendship or business relationship over it. That would be very unprofessional! Just act "as if" it doesn't matter to you at all and that you're sure they have a perfectly reasonable explanation - and, they probably do (at least in their minds).

 

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) about 4 years ago

OK.  If they believed that they had "a perfectly reasonable explanation" then why are they avoiding us?  And why would VERY good friends, (and fellow church members) do that, with NO explanation at all, and in fact, not even tell us about it THEMSELVES?

As for the "desperate realtor" theory, it doesn't wash.  She is new, completely unknown to them, and got into the business AFTER my husband listed their other home.

I realize that you can't solve this for us, I just thought that you may have a concrete answer for us, or a personal experience to share.  It is such a sticky situation.  Unfortunately, it DOES matter a great deal to us.  In 11 years, this is the first time it has happened to us...thankfully!!!  My father-in-law has, as I said before, had it happen to him a few times in his 17 year career.  He doesn't take kindly to "friends" doing that, and feels that in the long run he is far better off with his "loyal" friends and customers.  In spite of losing a few "friends(???)", he has managed to retain his integrity and high degree of professionalism.  (It hasn't hurt him financially, either! )  Maybe we aren't all as kind and forgiving about such things as you would be in our situation.  Just to clarify, my husband HAS had other customers do this to him, and that really is just par for the course.  These are our FRIENDS, and that is what makes it pretty bad in our eyes.

With that said, I think the business end of things can remain intact, but the friendship...well,that was their choice. 

Thanks for your advice, Jennifer!!!

Posted by Anonymous about 4 years ago

You are right. It's the "in your face" tactics that fail to work out well every time.

Posted by Benjamin Realty LLC over 3 years ago

just came across this and although it is old I wanted to reply to Angela-

send a card to them wishing them the best. Don't ask why, don't solicate, just wish them the best. They will usually appreciate the good form and soften up. Likely they are avoiding you because they don't want to explain their decision and honestly- it is their decision- but if they know you are ok with it, it could diffuse the situation.

just my 2 cents

Posted by Shari Weber (John L Scott) over 1 year ago

Thanks for your comment Shari - your advice is perfect. I get this question so often, and the agents are almost always furious with my answer that they should handle it politely and professionally. But you know what? More than one has written me back later to tell me that they did as I suggested and ended up with the friend as a client in the end because the agent they initially selected blew it.

It's just bad business to burn bridges.

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) over 1 year ago

I'm a serious Rookie but loving it!  it's been a month, but I just wrote my first offer!

It was exhilerating!  It was just what I needed to jump-start my career.  Now I can't get enough.  My issue is that I have a husband with two jobs, 3 boys (one with Down's Syndrome) and an absolute passion for my career that is all consuming!!  I need to find a balance! My other obsession is Bikram yoga which is wonderful for relaxation and focus...not to mention the killer work-out that comes along with it.

So you keep a list of your SOI's but you don't send out letters etc...which I'm totally on-board with! I guess I need to be directed as to where to go to read about what TO do.  Just be relational, know your stuff and the clients will come to you?  I have my sticker on my car but I never bother or pester friends or people that I meet.  I figure everyone will know what I do and its up to me to learn every detail of the the Real Estate business.  When the clients come I want to be overly ready!  Does that make sense? 

Posted by Bethany Williams about 1 month ago

Hi Bethany... well, there's a bit more to it than just being nice and waiting for people to show up... feel free to contact me directly and I'll point you toward some other resources. But YES - I'm completely in agreement with you that when clients come, you want to be overly ready... your future adoring fan club deserves that... ;-]

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul) about 1 month ago

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