Did a show in the SWS Virtual Studio last week about setting appropriate boundaries and expectations with clients upfront - walking that fine line between being the best thing to happen to your clients and... losing your mind! It's an imperfect balancing act, to be sure, but there ARE things you can do to minimize the likelihood of too much crazy-making!
As I explained in the first part of the show - a lot of it has more to do with YOUR attitude and expectation of what is reasonable and "normal." Once you've adjusted YOUR expectations and are committed to going with the flow more often, you'll find that your clients' behavior isn't nearly as frustrating and crazy-making as it used to be. Just because someone is different from you doesn't make them unreasonable or unusually demanding; in many cases it simply means they're DIFFERENT, but perfectly normal.
On the other hand, some people are crazy. Maybe not technically crazy, but their behavior IS outside the realm of normalcy and they are unreasonably demanding or critical. But many agents, especially new ones, don't realize this and beat themselves up for not being able to please these crazy people, even though, looking in from the outside, it's obvious they can't be pleased. When dealing with a crazy person who is driving YOU crazy, you may need to make a mercenary decision as to how likely they are to lead you to a payday - and fire or not fire accordingly. I can put up with a lot of nonsense if I'm pretty sure there's a payday for it in my future!
Anyway, at the end of the show, I asked the audience to tell me what they learned that was the most helpful to them. And here are the results!
Favoritest Tip #1: Ask, don't tell
Instead of telling your new clients what to expect from you, ASK them what they expect from you. Once they've said it outloud, it becomes their expectation. And most normal people will not demand unreasonable availability and response times out loud if they're asked. Say something like: "Bill, I'd like to talk about your expectations for me as to availability and responsiveness. For example, will you be okay if I'm with clients and can't return your call for a few hours? Or if I'm with my family on Sunday afternoon and don't get back to you until the evening? I just want to make sure I don't disappoint you."
Favoritest Tip #2: SHUT UP
If a client asks something of you that is unreasonable, respond respectfully, but briefly, and then stop talking. This is a fantastic strategy for declining monkeys.
Favortest Tip #3: Don't change your business model for crazy people
As mentioned above, some people are just crazy. In most cases, it's not necessary to change your business model just because a crazy person made your life hell for a few months. In other words, don't "punish" (and risk alienating) your perfectly normal future clients by setting off-putting ground rules unnecessarily. Most people will be respectful of your time and attention without being pre-emptively scolded about it!
Favoritest Tip #4: Different does not equal Difficult
As mentioned above, just because someone processes information differently from you doesn't make them difficult. For example, if a buyer needs more time than you think is reasonable to decide whether or not a house suits him, that's not wrong, it's just how his mind works (and you're not going to change him). So, be patient, be respectful, and let him do his thing, in his own time. When dealing with someone who is frustrating you - ask if they're truly unreasonable... or just different from you.
Other tips from the show:
- Ask a seller prior to listing: "What will you do if the house doesn't sell?" (What's your Plan B?)
- When things get difficult, STAY CALM. If you get antsy, your client will, too. And they'll become nervous and demanding.
- Don't apologize for not taking (or returning) after hours phone calls. Just return the call in the morning, no apologies, no defensiveness, no explanation. Many people call after hours not realizing they're not calling an office and don't really expect you to answer or respond.
- You can say NO. Just because someone asks doesn't mean you have to say YES. In most cases, a polite, respectful NO, with an alternative will be perfectly satisfactory.
- Let the buyer low-ball if he wants to. If he wants your opinion on offer price, he'll ask for it. If he doesn't, and you try to talk him up in price, he'll wonder if you're truly on his side. At some point you may decide to let him go, but don't try to persuade him to change his offer strategy.
Any other tips you'd like to share? Please do!
the above is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to do when you are effectively marketing and actually have lots of clients.....most agents seem to let their gaurd don on teh above when teh get desperate.....NEVER forget to keep marketing and keep your piepline ful of new prospects!!!!
Jennifer...every one of these tips are solid gold. We're especially fond of "don't change your business model for crazy people". Thank you.
Taking control is very important and accomplishing your clients goals. Ask the right questions and listen to them. Too often, we as brokers tend to blast out our knowledge of real estate and forget that the client has their goals and concerns in how to get there. We need to come across as Marketers, not salespersons.
Good morning Jennifer,
Howard and Susan are right..every one of these tips are solid gold!! Asking the right questions is so important but listening to the answers is key :)
Love this topic. I've come a long ways in setting boundaries and taking control in my business.
Good morning Jennifer,
Great tips and right on the money. Questions are important, but listening is even more important. Thanks for sharing!
Great post, Jennifer. I always set boundaries with clients up front, and ask for expectations. If it looks like we can work together, we do. If not, we go our separate ways, and everyone's still happy. I don't work 24 hours a day, or 7 days a week, and I will not answer my phone every time it rings, but I will always put the interest of my client ahead of my own and do my best to get the job done ;^)"
Hi Jennifer. Ask don't tell. I love it. Great post.
My particular favorite is ask don't tell. Nobody likes to be told....after all, we're not children. But when you ask them, they will feel special, which they are. Some people think that if you ask what another wants, you won't get what you want but if done correctly, everyone will get what they want and need.
Jennifer, being a part of the show was great, especially meeting so many like minded collegues. Thanks so much for putting it together - To anyone that didn't make it this time, I highly recommend Jennifer's "meetings" as they are not about selling her, more about helping each other. Something we all need in this tough real estate world right now!
Jennifer, I concur with many of the others. My favorite is "Ask, don't tell". At the end of the day, we all want to be heard. The key is first to ask, but then to listen to the answer!!
Solid gold, here!
Glad you're enjoying the tips! I'm doing a follow-up show next month on the subject... if you're on my mailing list, watch your email for details. It's SUCH a fun topic.
Nancy- GREAT observation - no one likes to be "scolded" like a child, especially before they've done anything "wrong!" And, if you word it right, you can basically tell someone how you work and get their permission to do it that way - unless they have a serious objection to it, they'll agree.
Vanessa - I really enjoyed all your input in the chat - hope to see you there next time.
About crazy people - I see SO many agents get so frustrated with one or two difficult clients that they feel they need to completely change how they treat everyone... which just isn't true. If they had changed their behavior with the crazy person, it probably wouldn't have made a difference anyway.
This post reallis excellent. We do walk a line. We are the Realtors and we get to know the folks. That is part of our job. But then come the monkeys. My wife the physical therapist handled this in this way. She does home health. She was working with a client who said she wa great. He invited us to his mountain home in N.C. and wanted all of us to be great firends. my wife looked at him and said , You are a college teacher. Is the persona you have in the class room you ? The answer was no really. So my wife said it is the same with me. We are professionals working here together to get you better. But you really do not know who I am. I loved that response and maybeit could be tailored to real estate. I feel so many get sucked in to buyer and seller problems which really are not solveable or our problem
Great post. I find it important to always remember that this is the buyers and sellers drama , not mine. They are the ones whose money, time and lifestyle are on the line.
This was like balm for my wounded psyche. My favorite is don't change your model for crazy people and shut up. I have a crazy seller. She texts me volumes and has selective amnesia. I will have to detox after this listing expires or I sell it. This was very timely, thanks so much.
I love these, Especially #2 and 3... of course the could be 2a & 2b!!
Hi Jennifer! Finally got on AR. :)
Great post and tips as usual. Boundaries are so critical in any service oriented business. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself (and those close to you) nuts and into an early grave.
Jennifer, thank you for sharing this. I especially liked "Ask, Don't Tell" and "Shut Up". As a new agent I am looking for tips to help me get started off on the right foot and this article falls into that realm. Thanks again!
Great post. This is a topic I could talk about for hours!